My PhD journey has now concluded!

I never thought this day would come as it was like climbing the Mount Everest. I have dreamed about it for many days and nights. It is a bit too surreal for me. What am I talking about exactly? I have finally finished my PhD and it is official! The Associate Dean of Research (University of Southern Queensland) has approved my PhD corrections and the senior research administrator (Research) is in the process of preparing the paperwork to be signed off by the Business Faculty. Following that, I should be hearing from the Office of Research and Higher Degrees about the requirements for my graduation.

How do I feel? Thrilled and relieved. If you asked which feeling was more dominant, I would say I felt more relieved than anything else. This PhD journey has been very long and bumpy. There were many downs, but few ups. Most of these downs were self-inflicted and some of them were simply out of my control like my principal supervisor was having a series of dramas at work and not being PhD-focused. Throughout this PhD journey, I have experienced so much anger (at myself, my ex-partner, and my supervisors), anxiety (wondering if I ever finished and passed this bloody PhD), fear (constantly worrying about my writing and research findings), and stress (juggling between meeting chapter deadlines and fulfilling my teaching responsibilities). The more I fed myself with these negative feelings, the less motivated I became in finishing my PhD.

At that time, I did not have the right mindset when pursuing this PhD journey. My initial prime objectives were to stay in Australia with my partner at that time (now ex-partner) and to apply for permanent residency once I had completed the degree. I did not envisage doing the PhD as a learning and self-actualisation journey. Only after I have joined Surrey University and working with some talented, research-active colleagues, I suddenly realised that my view about this PhD journey was too narrow-focused and lacking strategic directions. I needed to think bigger and wider! Doing a PhD should not be about finding a (legitimate) reason to stay with your partner or applying for permanent residency, but it should be about gaining knowledge, challenging and updating your mindset, and sharing your interest and knowledge through publications. In a nutshell, doing a PhD is about self-discovery and self-actualisation.

I could not have completed this PhD journey without the moral support of my family and many good friends like Ian, Phillip, Ho Yin, Frances, Eric, James, Avital, Gang, Vicky, Ginee and Atanu. Dawn and her beloved family have also played a major part in my PhD journey. Dawn and her family provided me with a shelter, which was never boring and full of love. During my stay with them, I learnt so much about self-respect, self-determination, positive thinking, and sharing your feelings with your family (something that I did not learn from my childhood). To my family, friends, and Dawn and her family, thank you! Thank you for your support, thank you for having faith in me, I did it! I have got my bloody PhD now! It is a bloody good feeling to have reached the mountain peak!